Rumsay Hunt The Supervillain

Watch the sleight of hand right in front of your trusting eyes.

“Hailey Bieber shares update on Justin Bieber’s facial paralysis scare” (Global News, 2022.06.15):

“He’s getting better every single day,” Hailey said. “He’s feeling a lot better and, obviously, it was just a very scary and random situation to happen but he’s going to be totally OK.”

How random, you ask? Well, the same article says, quoting Canadian Medical Association Journal:

Ramsay Hunt syndrome has an annual incidence of 3.2 to 4.2 cases per 1,000, according to the Canadian Medical Association Journal (CMAJ).

Case closed? But wait, let’s see for ourselves what the venerable publication really said:

Herpes zoster has an annual incidence of 3.2–4.2 cases per 1000. Incidence rises in the fifth decade of life and peaks in the eighth decade.

Well, the Bieb is 28 so far, so the incidence for his age bracket is probably 1/10 of that, eh? Büt, as Inspector Clouseau used to say, that’s not all:

Facial nerve involvement occurs in only 1% of patients, and predominantly affects women in their fifth and sixth decades.

He’s not a gran either:

Even if he were a gran with the actual reactivated shingles, he’d still have just a 1% change to meet Rumsay Hunt face-to-face.

So, long story short, the chances for the Bieb to catch it are like 3 in 10,000,000? What a lucky dude! Had he not jabbed himself, of course. As he did, this isn’t so much the case of unusual luck but rather of extreme stupidity. I mean, with his wherewithals? C’mon!

And this completes the today’s lesson on the importance of always checking what was really said in those articles they bring up in support of their “massage”. Or is it “message”?